Home for the holidays. Just seeing that phrase calls up images of warmth and laughter, good food, games, and presents under the tree. However, many of us have relatives, friends, or loved ones whose “home” for the holidays, as well as all the rest of the year, is a nursing home.

How can we best share some holiday cheer and joy with these special people? Including them in holiday activities – or even choosing a suitable present – can be a challenge considering the possible limits in abilities or special needs they may have.

If it is possible to bring him or her home comfortably and safely for a few hours, that might be the dearest wish of your loved one. If it is too hard to do on Christmas Day, perhaps the Sunday before Christmas would be a good time, or almost any time that your friend or relative can see the tree, and have a home cooked meal.

Another possibility is a trip to a nearby shopping mall (but not at its busiest times). There are no steps at a mall, and if a wheelchair is needed, its easy to “wheel” around and see the stores, or make purchases and have a bite to eat at the food court. Wheelchairs are available at both the University Mall and Illinois Centre Mall at the courtesy desks; call ahead for information.

If your loved one cannot leave the nursing home, think about bringing in a home cooked meal, (kept properly hot, of course), or a Christmas treat, or even some “fast food” that he or she used to enjoy, and can still eat. And since eating is a social activity, as well as a necessity, eat with them.

Talk to the social services or activities staff. Is there a room where you can have a little get together with a meal or Christmas treats? Even a corner of the dining room might do. Also be sure that any dietary problems, such as a need for soft and easy to eat foods, is considered.

Depending on your friend’s or relative’s level of functioning, there are other enjoyable activities:

1. Help them send Christmas cards to loved ones who are far away;
2. “Decorate” their room for Christmas, perhaps bringing in a small table-top artificial tree;
3. Attend the home’s Christmas party, and sing some carols together;
4. Share Christmas memories – what was Christmas like when they were young – what was their favorite gift, or song, or holiday food; or
5. Bring a gift, and make a little “party” of it with some cookies and punch or soft drink.

Especially if you do not visit the nursing home often, it may be hard to know what gifts are the most useful or suitable. Consult the social services staff or activity director; they may know of needs your friend or relative has. Or, the resident may be glad to tell you! Here are some suggestions:

1. Warm clothes – sweat suit, or sweater, warm knee length socks for women who wear gowns instead of pants;
2. A housecoat with snaps down the front, or a dress that is easy to get into and out of;
3. Lipstick, lip balm, perfume, hand lotion, powder, aftershave;
4. Covered candy dish (use your judgment about whether it can be glass or should be plastic), filled with your loved one’s favorite candy, or whatever type of candy they can now eat;
5. A subscription to the hometown weekly paper, or to the Sunday edition of a larger paper;
6. A subscription to “Reader’s Digest” or to inspirational publications such as “Guideposts” or the “Upper Room” (all are available in large print); or
7. Washable slippers with a skid proof sole that are easy to get on and off.

Some items may be more easily found in specialty catalogs than in the local stores. All clothing items should be easy care and machine washable, and should be clearly marked with the resident’s name, including the bottoms of slippers and socks.

Above all, remember your friend or relative with a visit. A warm smile, an arm across the shoulders, a kiss on the cheek have great meaning and lasting value, at all seasons of the year.

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