I met Walter and his wife Dorothy years ago when I drove a bus for the agency where they worked. Each morning I’d pick them up and drive them to the work site, and each morning Walter and I would discuss world politics, sports, community affairs, and current events. Walter had an opinion about every topic and his opinion was the correct and only one – and of course I had to interject with opposing view points. Dorothy would shake her head to indicate disgust as two grownups could hardly ever see eye-to-eye about anything. I’m not sure why Walter formed such firm opinions, mine were open to change if Walter could offer a convincing argument. Walter’s opinions were formed quickly and never wavered. This could have been due to how he was brought up or his quick and strong opinions may have been more to oppose his young, college educated bus driver friend. He liked to engage me in lively conversation. I was young and I took his bait. Dorothy never entered into our debates, she seemed to be less opinionated than either her husband or his young friend. Dorothy would listen to us but politely decline comment when asked her opinion. She would referee occasionally, but never interfere with two individuals who both spoke as if they were always right. Walter and I never raised our voices nor lost respect for each other. Secretly I knew that he was often right but I had to make him prove it with facts, not opinion. I guess it was because he always had an opinion and he never seemed to listen to anyone else’s views that caused so many verbal jousts between us. I’ve seen Walter several times since I left the bus driving job at the agency where they worked. I’ve found that Walter has changed over the years, or maybe we both have changed. Walter doesn’t hold such firm opinions as before and I don’t challenge him at all. We talk to each other and he really listens to me. He offers advice when I request it, mostly without ever giving me an opinion. I’m not sure why Walter has stopped being so opinionated nor why he’s become such a good listener and advisor. I know that when his wife died some years ago he took it hard. I know that he wishes he’d listened to her and respected her opinions more. Maybe that’s why he listens to others more now and offers advice rather than opinions. Sometimes we only have one chance in life to do things right. Sometimes things happen and we have but one opportunity to make a difference. Walter must think he lost his chance to do things right and to make a difference in his relationship with Dorothy. I’ll never know for sure, of course, but he does listen now and doesn’t interject his own opinions. I think that listening to others and offering advice when asked makes up for lost opportunities. I’m sure Dorothy would agree with me. ### |
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