Terry lost his mother and his sister within months of each other. His mother had dementia, probably from Alzheimer's disease. Her death was hard, but expected. His sister's death was unexpected. It was even harder for him to accept it.

Although people often suffer emotional pain in response to loss of anything that is very important to them, such as a job, friendship, home, one's sense of safety, grief usually refers to the loss of a loved one through death. Grief is quite common.

Terry may have anticipated his grief before his mother died. When his sister died, he was stunned first, and then he was filled with grief.

Mourning usually involves culturally determined rituals that help the bereaved individual make sense of the end of their loved one's life and give structure to what can feel like a very confusing time. The internal pain of grief is a universal phenomenon.

How people mourn and the length of time for a formal mourning period are influenced by their personal, family, cultural, religious, and societal beliefs and customs. Mourning customs also affect how comfortable bereaved individuals may feel when seeking support, as well as the appropriate way for their friends and family to express sympathy during this time.

We wanted to help Terry work through his grief, but we didn't know what to say or do. It was difficult for us, too.

While many forms of support are available and do help certain individuals, scientific research has not shown clear benefits for any particular approach for grief in general. How the bereaved individual cares for him or herself is important. Regular eating habits, nutritious meals, extra rest, and communicating with surviving friends and families are some ways to ease the grief process.

The use of a support structure can also help. Anything from reciting comforting prayers or affirmations, to returning to established daily habits and routines can help grieving individuals regain a sense of normalcy in their lives. Forgiveness can go a long way toward healing for the bereaved.

While the painful aspects of dealing with death are clear, bereavement sometimes leads to enhanced personal development.

Terry is working through his feelings of bereavement. It may take him some time, and the support of his surviving family and friends will help. However, only Terry and his personal, family, cultural, religious beliefs and customs will determine how long it will take and what road he goes down.

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