Ned and Joseph were brothers. When they were young they often quarreled with each other. Unfortunately, neither could forgive or forget as they grew older.

No family is exempt from quarreling. Often it stems from a lack of feeling grateful or content. Realizing how much worse things could be is an important part of developing gratefulness and contentment with how things are, and thus avoiding a quarrelsome attitude.

Neither brother remembered what started their original quarrel. It likely stemmed from childhood competition between the two. For some reason neither brother could see the viewpoint nor accept the explanation of the other when a dispute would arise.

As they grew older and started families of their own, the brother’s wives and children rarely talked. The children didn’t understand why they weren’t allowed to visit their cousins as their fathers didn’t like to talk about the situation. Whenever either brother’s name was brought up in conversation there seemed to be a tense, dark cloud of discontent in the air.

Ned rarely returned telephone messages he received from Joseph’s family, and Joseph rarely telephoned on his own. When their parents died some years ago, neither brother could agree on the division of their estate which caused a deepening of their discontent.

Winston Churchill once said, “If we open a quarrel between the past and the present, we shall find that we have lost the future.” Ned and Joseph’s relationship remained tense as they aged into their retirement years, all because of some long forgotten disagreement from the past.

Today, both Ned and Joseph have passed away, Joseph just recently. Since neither family is particularly close to the other, the gathering at the grave site had a cold and bitter feel to it, even on an otherwise bright and sunny day. The feud between the brothers made their families ill-at-ease with each other at a time when families should be close nit.

“It takes two to quarrel, but only one to end it,” according to an old Spanish proverb. Neither Ned nor Joseph were willing to forgive or forget.

Feeling grateful and content with what one has is often the best remedy to stop a quarrel. And, if there is one, forgiveness and a short memory are needed to patch things up. It’s another lesson learned.

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