“Who is ‘that boss lady’ that wouldn’t let me get off the van downtown? I needed to do some shopping.” Maria was not happy and she let me know about it.

Apparently, one of my van drivers was in a hurry and decided not to let Maria shop before bringing her to the senior center meal site for lunch. Maria had some shopping to do and wanted to get it done early.

She told me in no uncertain terms that my job was to make sure my van drivers obeyed her wishes about where she wanted to go. And, she didn’t want “that boss lady” telling her when she could or couldn’t shop.

This incident reminded me of a story I had heard about a Superintendent of Schools in a grade school district not far from here. He was meeting with his administrative staff, secretaries, and school teachers over lunch one day.

The grade school’s students were helping serve the meal to the large gathering. One young student was passing out individually wrapped butter squares to each person, carefully ensuring that each diner got just one square of butter.

When the young student was giving the Superintendent one square of butter, he asked the student for a second square since he liked a lot of butter on his bread.

“Sorry, just one square of butter per person,” said the student.

“Son,” the Superintendent said sternly, “you don’t understand. I’m the Superintendent of this school and I’m in charge of all these people.”

“Sorry sir,” replied the young student, “but, you don’t understand. I’m in charge of the butter and everyone gets just one!”

Even at age 91, Maria was in charge of her life just like the young student was in charge of the butter in this story. Just because my van driver and I misunderstood who was in charge didn’t mean that Maria was going to allow someone else to boss her. She wanted to be let out by the van driver downtown so she could shop and I was to tell my van driver to let her out next time.

“Okay,” I said quickly, realizing by the fiery look in her eyes that Maria was quite upset and that the future of my health may very well depend on my answer. “I’ll tell the driver to let you out.”

Sometimes my lessons are learned when I’m being bossed and not when I’m the one in charge. I told “that boss lady,” my van driver, to let Maria out of the van downtown after lunch so she could do some shopping.

When Maria heard me tell this to my van driver she was very happy. After all, if Maria was happy, I thought to myself, then so am I ... and healthier, too.

###

Return to Lessons Learned