Jessica
by John M. Smith, Executive Director
Egyptian Area Agency on Aging

I met Jessica just once, but she made quite an impression on me. We talked for some time and I grew to admire her ambition, drive, determination, caring, doggedness, and outspoken personality.

She was divorced and working at a low paying job and not quite near retirement age, when her daughter began having personal problems. Jessica’s five grandchildren moved in to live with her until her daughter could work out her problems. Living with her grandchildren made her life complicated, but never dull.

Jessica’s ambition was inspiring. Her goals were to continue working and raising her five grandchildren by herself. The oldest was in high school and the youngest was just a toddler. Each day was an adventure, but she seemed to face each day with unbridled optimism.

She had the drive to hold down a job, raise her grandchildren, and find time for a little peace and quiet even though the latter was often fleeting. The fast pace set by kids is unyielding and only those who are hard driven and brave can survive.

She had determination to hold her family together. The child rearing rules and procedures had changed since she raised her own. She had to learn new educational, medical, and recreational requirements for her grandchildren in today’s fast moving and ever changing world. The thought of keeping the family together was always the source of her strong determination.

She was a caring grandmother as she made sure her grandchildren went to school everyday, did their homework, helped with the chores around the house, and loved each other. She made sure they took care of each other, too.

Her doggedness shone through when it came to finding help for her grandchildren’s needs, and for her own needs, also. When the kids needed new school clothes, for example, she made new linkages with social service agencies and charitable organizations. She talked to school personnel and other parents to find out about new ways to get help.

When she needed a break for herself, she found summer camp scholarships for the grandchildren. The kids enjoyed camp and she got a few days to herself. These “days off” seemed to re-energize her for the long and hard mission ahead.

She was an advocate for grandparents rights. She would talk to groups, when time allowed, about the joys and hardships of raising a family the second time around. I found her message immensely fascinating.

I doubt that I will ever see Jessica again. The impression she left, however, has motivated me to help find ways to make the hardships she faced easier for other grandparents who are struggling to raise their grandchildren, too.

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