Janice, not her real name, instantly changed from being just a “grandma” to the primary caregiver for three of her grandchildren when they were dropped off at her house one rainy evening.

The children’s mother was no longer able to care for them. Not wanting her grandchildren to go into the Foster Care system, Janice agreed to have them come live with her. That was several years ago.

It’s hard for Janice to cope. She raised and sent her own children into the world some years ago. Now she wanted to relax and be just a real “grandma”.

She works, and was almost ready to retire. With the added financial burden of raising three of her grandchildren, she doesn’t feel she can retire anytime soon.

Money isn’t her main concern, however. She has become the “mother” figure for these three since her daughter can no longer care for them. She has to discipline the grandchildren under her care when they need it instead of spoiling them like any other grandmother would.

When her other grandchildren come to visit, Janice can’t be the real grandmother she had hoped to be. It wouldn’t be right if she spoiled some of her grandchildren while disciplining those that are under her care. It breaks her heart to be this way.

Janice is not alone. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, nearly 2,300 grandparents have the primary responsibility for the care of their grandchildren in Southern Illinois. Nationally, more than 2.4 million households headed by grandparents are caring for their grandchildren.

Although younger grandparents (aged 40-60) are more likely to be responsible for the care of grandchildren than older grandparents, it is not unusual for grandparents age 60 and over to have that responsibility. A few years ago, a woman age 75 living in our area was caring for her great-grandchild who was only 4 years old at the time.

For many grandparent caregivers, this responsibility is a long term commitment. In 2000, 39 percent of grandparent caregivers had been responsible for their grandchildren for 5 or more years.

Janice is a long-term caregiver for her three grandchildren. As they grow older and eventually leave the “home” Janice has provided, she hopes to revert back to her old, lovingly grandma ways. She hopes to “spoil” each and all of them, even those three who now call her “mom”.

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