| Harvey |
| by John M. Smith, Executive Director Egyptian Area Agency on Aging |
Harvey had to control everything. He had to be the person “in charge”
of everything, and no one was going to tell him how things should be run.
He was in control of the senior center’s fund-raising. He decided how much money was needed, how to raise it, and how to spend it. No one dared cross Harvey.
He was very good at raising money. The senior center got a new coat of paint, a new vehicle to deliver meals to homebound seniors, and a new refrigerator when the old one broke down and couldn’t be fixed. All of this was appreciated by the senior center’s participants and staff.
Unfortunately, Harvey’s “in charge” attitude occasionally clashed with other seniors and the center’s staff. If Harvey didn’t like it, he wouldn’t help. If others didn’t like Harvey’s decisions, he ignored and ridiculed them. This caused conflict and hurt feelings.
When I intervened during these conflicts, Harvey would often refer to me as “that little Caesar,” comparing me to a Roman “Caesar” or king. He often would then try to undermine my authority.
I’ve always tried to get everyone at the senior center to get along with each other. I’ve never liked to make a “public scene” over issues like this. I ignored what Harvey said about me and dealt with the issue in a business-like manner. Sometimes this made Harvey even more angry with me.
Eventually, Harvey quit coming to the senior center. Fund-raising suffered some after he left, but the senior center’s participants and staff seemed happier and more willing to help with fund-raising events.
It’s a hard lesson learned. Including everyone in the fund-raising decisions and events is not always easy. Trying to decide how to spend hard-earned money can be even more difficult.
When I tried to referee these differences, I was called a name. I didn’t mind that Harvey compared me to a Roman “Caesar,” but since I’m only five feet seven inches tall, his added dig about being “that little” Caesar stung me just a bit.
His name calling didn’t hurt too much, though. My parents didn’t give me the genetics to be tall, but they did teach me how to have tough skin.
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