My grandmother lived in a nursing home for six years. She said that life around her had become “too fast” for her to continue living at-home, so moving to a nursing home seemed like the best option at the time.

I was lucky to live near her nursing home so I visited grandma periodically and asked her many questions about our family. Grandma had a habit of thinking about what she was going to say for what seemed like an eternity before she answered a question or made a comment. I often found myself thinking that she hadn’t heard the question and I had to fight the urge to repeat it.

Sure enough, after a few moments of thoughtful reflection grandma would have a well-thought out answer to my inquiry or comment. Often it was a more in-depth response than I had expected.

When I asked her about her daily life at the nursing home her answers were less enthusiastic and usually short, such as “its okay,” or “it’s a place to live.”

The only time I remember her complaining was when I stayed one day to help her eat her evening meal of macaroni and cheese. Grandma leaned over to me and said that “the food here isn’t very good.”

When I asked her about family events from years ago, she would use the reflection and in-depth answer approach most often to give me wonderful, honest responses.

Her mind was crystal clear, but not stimulated by living in the nursing home. However, from the answers she gave me about events that happened long ago I could tell that she had lived a varied and interesting life.

Grandma married in 1920 and raised five children during the great depression of the 1930’s. My mom, aunt and uncles often talk of living a “Spartan” life when they were growing up, but my mom insists that she doesn’t remember ever going hungry. My uncles aren’t so quick to agree with that, however.

Steady jobs were rare during the depression of the 1930’s and having money to buy the necessities was difficult. Everyone had a garden to subsidize their diets since there wasn’t always enough money to buy food, so they made do with what food that had.

Grandma described scenes like that about her family. They got by like most families did in those days, but they didn’t have much.

When I look back on it now I reflect on how seldom she complained, except occasionally about the macaroni and cheese. I think that her non-complaining, self reliant attitude came from her years of raising five kids when times were hard. She knew how to deal with difficult times without bitterness or complaint. And, I will always remember how she took time to give me thoughtful answers to questions I asked.

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