Fred had just recently retired when I saw him at a meeting for senior adults at a local center. He told me he had taken early retirement because of the incentives the State had offered, but he wasn’t happy about being retired.

He and his wife were financially secure in their retirement, but money wasn’t the problem. He had planned financially for his retirement, and the State had helped with the incentives, but Fred had not planned what to do with his new found free time.

People are living longer. The average life-span in 1900 was 47 years – it’s nearly 80 today. According to public health data, when people reach age 65 in good health they can expect to live nearly another 20 years – that means they could spend at least a quarter of their life in their retirement years. Most people don’t want to work any longer than they have to, but not everyone knows exactly what activities will be important to them in their retirement years.

Retirement is also an attitude, a state of mind, and an opportunity, but we must plan this “new life” both financially and socially. Social contacts outside of work are extremely valuable in retirement. Intellectual stimulation and spiritual resources are important, too. Because retirement offers many challenges – such as loss of work friends, loss of status outside the workplace, and perhaps even some financial worries – we need all the advantages possible to fully meet these challenges.

Fred and I talked about his unhappiness but I didn’t have all the answers he was seeking. I counseled him to speak with his pastor, his retired friends, and others he trusted in order to get a sense of what was available to him during his retirement years. Because everyone’s situation is different, there is no retirement plan which fits all. He needed to see what others were doing and decide what was best for him.

I saw Fred again a few months later and he seemed happier. He still missed the status and routine that work gave him, but he was actively trying to replace them with other activities he enjoyed. He structured his life around his family, especially his wife and grandchildren. But mostly he was relearning how to be happy with himself, not “Fred the businessman” but “Fred the family man.” He found new hobbies to take up some of his time and he never turned down an opportunity to visit with family and friends.

I’d like to think I helped him some, but mostly he helped me. Because of the increase in our longevity, pioneers like Fred are blazing a new trail into retirement. More people are living longer and as they do they are leading the way for the rest of us who hope to retire someday, too. It’s another lesson learned, and none too soon.

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