“I’m sorry,” mom said. It was apparent she dreaded to make this phone call. “I had an accident and my car is totally wrecked,” she told me.

A thousand questions raced through my mind. Was she OK? Was anyone else hurt? Who was at fault? Did she get a ticket? Was she in jail? Did she need money for bail?

Okay, I didn’t have those last two thoughts. I was concerned, however, whether she or anyone else was hurt. After all, mom just observed her eighty-ninth birthday.

Driving becomes much more difficult as we grow older. Our eyesight becomes diminished. Our reflexes slow down. The world around us seems to speed up.

As a group, older drivers are typically safe drivers according to most experts. Older drivers tend to drive fewer miles, avoid driving at night, and avoid rush hour driving when many more accidents happen. Most experts agree that sharing the road with older drivers poses a relatively low risk to the rest of us.

Accidents are a big concern for the family members of older drivers. As we age, we become less able to withstand physical trauma. Serious injury and death because of physical trauma increase as we age.

Many families struggle with the decision to have that “conversation” with their older loved one about their driving. Losing the ability to drive reduces one’s independence, which is a major concern of older people.

Hearing about this sensitive subject from the right person can make a big difference. What is said influences the decisions of older adults. Although uncomfortable and sometimes an argumentative subject, family conversations about driving makes it easier for older adults to understand their family’s concerns. It can lead to agreements to drive less, avoid certain road conditions, or stop driving altogether if necessary.

Mom wasn’t hurt. The other driver was fine. Both received a traffic ticket. Mom told me that the other driver was driving too fast and was distracted when they collided.

I didn’t have to bail mom out of jail, but she had to pay a hefty traffic fine. We discussed her driving ability. She thinks it is fine and I think it is passable but shaky! Her friends helped her buy a new care. She got a good deal.

I learned to do more research on how to talk to mom about this subject. The time will come someday, but mom is trying to put off that day until later.

No one was hurt this time, so mom gets a free pass. Let’s hope there isn’t a next time because the next time may be a lesson I don’t want to learn.

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