Cheated By Life
By John M. Smith, Executive Director
Egyptian Area Agency on Aging

"Life has cheated me!" Ralph exclaimed. "Nothing seems to work out the way I want it to. Why can't everyone just leave me alone and let me have my way?"

Ralph was suffering from depression. I'm not sure what caused his depression, or how to treat it, so I contacted a local counseling center for help.

Unfortunately, depression can be common among older people. Loss of one's physical abilities, grief from loss of a spouse or friends, or loss from the status or routine of a job can all trigger depression, and less specific symptoms such as insomnia, loss of appetite, and fatigue.

Older people often dismiss a less severe level of depression as an acceptable response to the stresses of life or a normal part of aging. Depression can lead to sad moods, low self-esteem, agitation, memory loss, and loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities.

Ralph exhibited growing agitation with life in general. He was also having mood swings and bouts with sadness.

The counseling center that Ralph attended helped him work through his feelings of agitation and mood swings. His therapy resulted in an improved quality of life and health after only two weeks. I suggested he continue his treatments, however, to ensure he didn't fall back into his old habits. He agreed reluctantly.

I've seen people like Ralph believe they are getting better and stop their therapy too soon. Not following through with therapy can result in a greater problem that can only be addressed with therapies that are more aggressive, such as antidepressant medication or psychotherapy.

In my non-professional opinion, Ralph didn't need medications or psychotherapy. He just needed someone who would listen to him, validate his feelings and frustrations, and help him cope with them appropriately. The counseling center was meeting his needs.

It took Ralph several months of counseling to address completely all the issues he was facing. Some of his issues dated back many years, or so he told me later when he thanked me for my intervention.

"Life is a lemon, and I want my money back!" or so the lyrics from a song by the artist Meatloaf expound.

I'm not so sure that life is a lemon, but I do know we can make lemonade out of lemons. All we have to do is squeeze their juice into a pitcher and add a little sugar. That's my lesson learned.

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