By W. W. Fyffe, M.S., M. Divs.

The holidays – usually a source of happiness, laughter and memories – can instead be an additional source of stress to those who are caregivers for loved ones with Alzheimer’s Disease. They also can be quite stressful for the Alzheimer’s patient.

Because of the changes he or she has experienced, the person with Alzheimer’s Disease (AD) may feel a special sense of loss and time passing during the holiday seasons. At the same time, caregivers may feel overwhelmed in their efforts to maintain holiday traditions on top of caring for the person with this disease. In addition, caregivers may feel hesitant to invite other family and friends over to share the holiday, for fear they will react negatively to the changed behavior of the family member.

It is possible, however, to have a less stressful holiday by planning ahead and being realistic about your expectations, activities, and energy level. Following are some tips that caregivers can use both for themselves and their loved ones.

Helpful Tips for Caregivers

• Do not let your schedule get out of control. Be realistic about the things you can handle comfortably.
• Maintain your own sleeping, eating, and exercising pattern as much as possible.
• Keep your intake of “holiday cheer” to a minimum. Alcohol is a depressant and may affect your mood negatively.
• Conserve energy by involving others in the planning, preparations, and activities.
• Build quiet time into your schedule.
• Before the event, familiarize your guests (by phone, in person, or by letter) with the current situation.
• Invite visitors to your home or go to theirs. (We can help you plan for a successful visit. It is possible!).
• Utilize adult day services and in-home services to give yourself a well earned gift – a break!
• Keep holiday decorating simple and safe. Do not use candles, artificial fruits/vegetables, or other edibles as decorations.
• Move furniture around as little as possible. Remember, the Alzheimer patient does not adapt well to change.
• Use caution in choosing colors, lighting, and placement of decorations. Limit bright colors so as not to over-stimulate. Keep the house well lit to avoid shadows which may increase fears. Do not place decorations in “pacing paths”.
• Limit distractions and control noise. Provide soft, enjoyable background music, including some of your loved one’s all-time favorites.

For the Alzheimer’s Patient

• Throughout all stages of preparation, involve the patient in safe, manageable activities. This helps prepare the person for the holiday and gives you the opportunity for quality time together.
• Maintain the person’s normal routine as much as possible so holiday preparations don’t become disruptive or confusing.
• Build on past traditions and memories. Your family member may find comfort in singing old holiday songs, for example.
• Allow the person to join in gift-giving. The loved one can help by baking cookies or packing them in tins or boxes. Involve him/her in gift wrapping, even if it’s nothing more than putting his/her finger on the ribbon while you tie the bow.

Gifts to Buy or Not to Buy

• Encourage the purchase of gifts that are useful and practical. Some gift ideas are: identification bracelets; comfortable, easy-to-remove clothing; audiotapes of favorite music; videos of family members; photo albums; subscriptions to magazines or cable television; or gift certificates for long distance telephone service.
• Warn other people about difficult or unsafe gifts. Advise people not to bring dangerous tools, utensils, challenging board games, complicated electronic equipment, or pets.
• Don’t ignore your own needs. Gift certificates to carry-out restaurants, laundry, dry cleaners, or home cleaning services are nice. If no one purchases these for you, treat yourself!

Most Important of All – Don’t Forget That You Are Not Alone!

If you feel guilty, angry, frustrated, or trapped during or after the holiday celebrations, it may help to know that these feelings are normal, and you are not alone.

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For the latest information on Alzheimer’s Disease, support groups, help for caregivers, and Care Track, call the Southern Illinois chapter of the Alzheimer’s Disease Association. Also, we have collected other helpful telephone numbers.

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